A Final Vigil

I was recently and unexpectedly admitted to the male medical ward of my local hospital late at night. I was conscious and aware of what was going on for me but completely indisposed. It felt as though I had been cast in the role of observer on an institution on which we deeply depend.

Across the ward the screens were drawn around a bed where a family sat at the side of their terminally ill father. There were occasional low murmurings but mostly silence as they awaited the inevitable.  I heard them share detail of his recent suffering and of the loss of their mother less than two weeks previously. This was a clear case of a broken hearted man, of late years, surrendering to death with dignity and courage. His passing, a few hours later, was a peaceful one and the family sat on in reverence to take their leave of him.

In close support, the medics had tended to the father over the previous week and switched from the role of preserving life to releasing it, as circumstances demanded. In the final hours hospital staff withdrew so that the family could gather to ease his passing. I have long believed that life’s important decisions are made with the heart rather than the head. In that hospital ward I felt this was institutionally formalised. The finest of high tech healthcare gave way to the loving support of immediate family at the time of this most important of transitions. Only some hours later did the hospital staff remove the body in preparation for their next arrival on the ward.

The hospital staff’s behaviour was exemplary in their care and compassion for a family thrust into change. In my case they acted professionally and speedily to protect me from disaster and a ‘life-changing event’. So, on the one hand they facilitated change and on the other they stopped it. Once again I’m reminded of the NHS’s strength in the treatment of acute illness and I’m very grateful for it. It’s only in their review of my situation that I hesitate to commend them.

Over the last four years I have brought about great improvements in my health through attention to nutrition and exercise. My learning has dispelled the previously unchallenged notion that the doctor is always right and that there is a pill for every ill. Today my attitudes toward healthcare are more In keeping with the coaching premise that the client explores the available options and retains responsibility for the outcomes. The doctors attending to me were able to provide the necessary assistance but were unable to assimilate information that conflicted with their drug centred paradigm of healthcare. Proactive nutritional intervention is not on their radar, nor were they curious as to how my situation might be addressed with a blend of natural and conventional approaches.

Perhaps I’m a little harsh. After all, I was admitted through the emergency room and their role is to deal quickly with whatever presents. In ER there is no time for procrastination or experimentation. Still, I remain hopeful that our treasured NHS, so skilled in judgement of when to bring change to others, will recognise the need to change itself and encourage participation from complementary medicine traditions with a view to true disease prevention. It is only through adaptation that the NHS can postpone a final vigil of its own.

Beginnings

At the beginning of the year we have a unique opportunity to review where we are and where we want to be. This is the stuff of New Year Resolutions – those musts and should that exert their influence over our behaviour during January and sometimes even February. Gymnasia across the land are very busy in the early weeks of the year but soon quieten down once annual subscriptions are paid and good intentions are stated. TV advertisements switch suddenly from the Christmas bombardment of perfume fragrances and party treats to low fat meals and diet plans. Christmas and New Year are seen as prime marketing opportunities rather than occasions for peaceful reflection and new beginnings.

So why do our initiatives so often fail? Is it that we seek to conform to other people’s expectations of us? Is it that we lack the confidence to see it through? Could it be that we are so deeply invested in our habits that change feels like losing our personality? Do we identify with our weakness? In such circumstances change, even for the better, is often blocked because we cannot face the ending of our dysfunction.

Nature shows us how to make good beginnings. There appears to be one universal rule for life forms on our planet - ‘Start small’. As spring arrives we will see shoots of growth from tiny seeds planted months before. Our greenhouses will provide optimum growing conditions for these developing plants until the early frosts have passed and they are strong enough to be planted out on their own. So too with the lifestyle changes that we know can improve our health. We need to start small and protect our progress.

On learning of a chronic blood pressure problem and discussing it with my doctor, she was very pleased for me to take the path of lifestyle management rather than pharmaceutical intervention but she cautioned against expecting rapid change. My medical records showed the problem had been some 14 years in the making so she felt it would be unrealistic to expect resolution in six months. She was right. In April 2009 it peaked at 174/110. In November 2012 it was measured at my local hospital at 117/77. As I look back over the last three years I recognise several misdirected efforts. No one thing proved the decisive issue but my entire relationship to food has changed, one small step at a time.

Recovering alcoholics stay dry one day at a time. Each day they make a new beginning. All of us can benefit from this approach. Certainly we can look forward to and even prepare for our future life, but consciously living each day well allows us to live in reality rather than fantasy.

So, in order to change your life, choose one small thing you can commit to each and every day that will help you toward becoming the person you want to be. Reflect regularly on your progress. Adapt and develop from what you learn, but never turn back. Seek out the support of others who have walked your path and in turn support those coming behind you. Our healthy days will become healthy years, with healthy relationships, healthy communities and ultimately we will build a healthy planet.

Claim your health one day at a time and enjoy the journey. Happy New Year!

Endings

Every culture has its rituals for dealing with death and mourning. When a loved one passes away, part of us dies with them. In a very immediate way our life is changed; we must relate to the world without their physical presence. We must end those habits that mapped out our lives together. No matter how painful their suffering, the absence at their passing is acutely felt. Divorce too, after a lengthy relationship, is often a most painful ending. It has been described as bereavement without a body. The same emotions and thoughts often arise – Why didn’t I ....., If only I’d......, What was he thinking? How could she.....? Apart from the anger there is often numbness and feelings of emptiness at the prospect of a future alone. However it happens, all relationships end, which leaves the reality that, in every life, pain must be endured.

In the natural cycle of life, death precedes birth. The frosts of winter kill off insects and plants in preparation for the abundance of new life in spring. As human beings we carry the learning of our years from one season to the next and hopefully, if nurtured carefully, we have the resilience to withstand the emotional pains of life so that we grow in both stature and maturity. Unfortunately, our progress is often blocked when we shy away from endings for fear of the unknown beyond. After the inevitable grief cycle components of denial, anger, bargaining and depression our progress may stall if we become locked into self pity, bitter recrimination or self loathing.

Each person must deal with endings in their own way and to their own timetable. There are no shortcuts. There is no way out, except through. Many have attempted to find shortcuts or coping strategies rather than face the pain, but inevitably these prolong the suffering and often deepen it. During the initial stages of bereavement our cultural rituals provide a form and structure for coping with the immediate necessities. Comfort and solace from friends and family help us through the numbness but the weeks and months, or even years, that follow are often much more difficult.

Since the pain of change is inevitable and must be endured we do well to incorporate into our lives healthy ways to cope. Indeed we can adopt daily practices that increase our acceptance and resilience by incrementally tracking change. That way the impacts from life’s larger events are more easily absorbed. To me the most valuable practice is the daily expression of gratitude for what has happened for us and what we learned from it. It is often said in relationships that ‘The little things are the big things’, so we may find ourselves thankful for those little but vital things that we otherwise take for granted – clean air, food, shelter, the smile on the face of a child; love in its simplest and most common expressions.

Life stage endings can also be met with gratitude – for shared years of happiness, for the joy of children, for the release from pain, for the learning and achievement that came from joint endeavour etc. We can give ourselves permission to grieve our losses by adopting familiar rituals. Kenny ‘The Monk’ Moore wrote of his corporate transformation work beginning with a ‘funeral’ for long established practice that no longer fitted current operations. Others may describe their  errant behaviour on pieces of paper which are then ritually burned to release their hold on the individual.

However you choose, spend some moments today in reflection on the year just ending and let go all baggage that would hold you back from future opportunity. As they say – ‘If God wanted you to look backwards, he’d have given you eyes in the back of your head’.

Thyme

This marvellous herb is known to contain compounds that break down arterial fat deposits and so can improve circulation. It is cardioprotective. So too Omega-3 fats from fish oils are known to increase HDL cholesterol which returns lipids to the liver for recycling rather than permit oxidised cholesterol to build plaque deposits. Two examples of how our bodies benefit from a rich and varied diet of natural foods. Health conscious individuals take proactive steps to nourish their bodies’ first line of defence. Their attention is rewarded by robust good health, greater energy levels and a zest for life.

I often wonder what equivalent nourishment makes our organisations healthier places to work. Perhaps it’s the humble act of listening to our colleagues and considering their contribution instead of steam-rolling our own agenda forward?  When we know we’ve made a mistake, apologising for it to the group rather than trying to cover it up or blame someone else? Owning our part in misunderstandings that raise tensions improperly and ‘counting to five’? Stephen Covey called this ‘Pressing the Pause Button’. All such actions promote healthy interpersonal communications between individuals and within groups and departments.

If we’re accustomed to a ‘My way or the highway’ autocracy then these healthy habits can be difficult to adopt. But just imagine the consequences of such action within the leadership team at the heart of an organisation. The volatile, autocratic leader stifles debate, demoralises and alienates staff. Instead of energetically contributing their ideas and energies, staff engage in protectionism and withdraw. Your best staff will be more focussed on their exit strategy than on delivering the organisation’s agenda. Recent events in the Middle East illustrate the atrocities that occur when leaders lose their connection with the people they serve.

There is much speculation on the mental health of dictators and undoubtedly there are stresses attributable to that style of leadership – both for the individual and their country, organisation, or family. Eventually the system will fail, dictators are overthrown or, like Stalin, allowed to die without comfort or help. A chronic illness leads to an unlamented death. But in such situations something else dies – the vitality of the organisation and the integrity of the leadership team. There has to be a better way. Leaders need the support of honest and timely feedback to stay healthy. If ousted in a coup d’etat their assailants are seldom better than the figure they depose.

So what would organisational Thyme look like? What practice, steadily implemented, can challenge and remove outmoded processes and maintain a good flow of ideas? What practice encourages ideas to flow freely through all parts of the organisation without risk of ‘thrombosis’ – being unnecessarily and dangerously blocked?

Blood chemistry changes only slowly in response to a healthy lifestyle, but change it does. A healthy blood profile is a clear indicator of a body in balance. Strong and willing participation, low staff turnover and satisfied customers indicate a balanced, healthy and responsive organisation.

For Organisational Thyme think Organ Methylation (almost an anagram L) and consider what you need to do to maintain the energy in your part of the organisation.

Ungoverned World

It is easy to imagine that our world is ungoverned when we see the tectonic changes to world order that have taken place over a few decades. Certainly it seems that the world we have known is passing away. Our instinctive reaction is to resist such change. When we think of the world as an ecosystem, of which we’re an integral part, we’re presented with a broader range of considerations. To what extent should we oppose change? To what extent should we embrace it? What is the healthy thing to do?

I’ve come to think of myself as a cell in the body of the world. I have a distinct function as part of a family, a community, even in a national organ, as part of an interdependent whole. In my own body my heartbeat, breathing, digestion and immune systems etc all function unconsciously to maintain my health. My conscious mind is aware of so little of what’s going on yet, when I deliberately establish optimum conditions for nourishment and development, everything works wonderfully and my system heals itself. My body doesn’t need to be closely governed. What it does need is love, leadership in the form of purpose and clear intention, and good quality nourishment – clean air, water and food. My organs all work in concert to optimise my overall health. As a healthy individual I am best able to contribute to the health of my family, community and world.

An interesting observation on the human body is that individual organs don’t tend to fight for resources. The body as a whole will do the best it can with what it’s given. Unfortunately it’s often fed unclean water, polluted air and a diet far removed from that which we evolved to eat. Mentally our diet is tainted by the excessive tensions of our modern world and the unrealistic expectations raised by cultural mores. The result for too many of us is chronic disease both physical and emotional. Small wonder that we find discord everywhere

Perhaps it’s human nature to want to feel in control. Our competitive world encourages wealth accumulation and growth so we set about the task of controlling our circumstances. The problems arise when our desire for control leads to the subjugation or domination of others and the wasting of our planet. Instead of living in harmony we set ourselves in contention and we settle for hostile standoffs. In the body physiological and psychological stresses lead to atherosclerosis as the body protects itself. Arteries fur and narrow, putting us at risk of heart attack and stroke should our standoff accommodation break down.  At the national level we build walls to divide communities, plunder natural resources and amass armies to ‘defend’ our interests. If or when these accommodations break down we face annihilation. What kind of madness allows us to think of this as control?

For our long term health we need to return to a very old paradigm. We need to eat what we evolved to eat and we need to relate to others as equals sharing a common purpose and destiny. From this perspective we will choose to oppose those changes that defile us or our planet. We will embrace the changes that enhance self-awareness and control so that we are best placed to contribute to humanity. We will come to the realisation that doing the right thing is the only thing worth doing.

Ghandi famously said ‘Be the change you want to see in the world’.  Ultimately, if we will only change ourselves we can invoke a Higher Power to govern the world. The world will thrive unconsciously all by itself. It can be governed by none yet governed by all.

Happiness Heals

The first step toward finding your own happiness is gratitude. If you develop and heighten your powers of appreciation by focusing on the beauty in your life instead of the imperfections, you will be halfway there. 

Your efforts will be rewarded. Statistics show that people who are happy live longer – they gain both years in their life and life in their years. Their increased longevity results from reducing stress levels and the accompanying stress hormones. These hormones are a vital part of our ‘fight or flight’ defence system and are designed to be dissipated through intense physical exertion. However, modern life induces stresses and generates hormones that have no natural outlet. These hormones interfere with our eating and sleeping patterns and weaken our immune system. Increased tensions also have a corrosive effect on relationships. When our immune system is compromised we invite cancerous developments or opportunistic infections.

Focusing on beauty and gratitude is not to ignore imperfections and pretend they’re not there. Rather it is a deliberate choice to meet our situation with serenity and not to be demeaned by them. Taking positive action to address imperfections is also good for our self esteem. Incremental improvements are cumulative. Over time they help us to become the people we want to be.

In the organisational setting it is also vital to adopt an attitude of gratitude. There is no greater contribution a leader can make with her team than to grow its capability. Frequent expressions of gratitude show appreciation of other’s efforts and encourage them to repeat their winning ways. Happy teams perform better and last longer. Again we add years to life and life to years.  When the organisation as a whole celebrates its successes it helps build that collective sense of purpose and builds its culture. Another vital dimension is that the organisation celebrates widely with its customers, its suppliers and its host community. In the same way that the individual needs to know he or she is valued for themselves within their environment, so too it is important for the cohesion of the organisation that it knows its contribution to its stakeholders. This builds community and strengthens its sense of itself and its purpose.

Ian Drury overcame his incapacity from Polio to make a great contribution to the music of his day. His classic ‘Reasons to be Cheerful’ is both a two fingered jab to his physical reality and a celebration of life. No matter what our circumstances, it is always more productive to focus on health affirming situations than to feel self pity around failure or oppressed by seemingly unobtainable targets for which you feel no responsibility.

What area of your life needs to be acknowledged and celebrated? Is your organisation appreciative of the community which hosts it, or does it consider the employment it provides to be a gift for which the community should be grateful? What is the driving sense of purpose that will bring happiness and healing into your life and add life to your years?

Four Star Planet

There is much excitement among astronomers about the newly discovered planet, PH1, which exists in a system containing four stars, some 5000 light years from earth. In the words of one scientist “It simply shouldn’t exist”. Up to now it was believed that the gravitational forces exerted by the four suns would be such that it would not be possible for the planet’s material to bind together. Once again cosmologists have been presented with a challenge requiring them to think even bigger thoughts.

In our own lives we have daily choices to make about the world in which we live. Our daily routines are largely dictated by family or work arrangements but hopefully not too rigidly so that there is opportunity for exploration and development. Think for a moment about this flexibility. –

·          How readily do we let our habits define us?

·         How uncomfortable are we with change?

·         What does it take to modify our thinking?

·         Do we consider alternative perspectives as complementary or challenging to our own? Or more crudely, do we adjudicate others as right or wrong?

The ease with which we change is largely determined by how heavily we are invested in our existing beliefs.  Older practitioners from any sphere of activity will have acquired the know-how of their trade that equips them to work effectively for their clients. As their clients we are generally content to point them at the problem and let them get on with it. When it comes to our health however, I believe that we need to take a more proactive stance and become learning partners with the doctors, dentists and consultants who treat us. The belief that ‘doctor knows best’ is often an abdication of personal responsibility by the patient or a perspective of arrogance from the physician. As medical professionals dedicate so many years to their training they are not always open to thoughts that challenge their beliefs. And although individuals within the professions may be open minded, the institutions guarding their professional interests may be much less so

The pressing health problems of today require a new paradigm of education and involvement. It is not acceptable that society be bombarded with advertising for processed foods containing excess sugar without also equipping individuals with a basic understanding of the dangers. Nor is it acceptable that the pharmaceutical industries profit from the management rather than the cure of disease. Well established corporate players regard change as threatening. They exert powerful forces in an attempt to tear apart or denigrate alternative ideas as though they ‘simply shouldn’t exist’. But although the truth may be hidden, maybe even 5000 light years away, it cannot be destroyed. Let us embrace the ideas and evidence presented by the mavericks of whatever profession and think the bigger thoughts needed to save the four star planet on which we live.