A Final Vigil

I was recently and unexpectedly admitted to the male medical ward of my local hospital late at night. I was conscious and aware of what was going on for me but completely indisposed. It felt as though I had been cast in the role of observer on an institution on which we deeply depend.

Across the ward the screens were drawn around a bed where a family sat at the side of their terminally ill father. There were occasional low murmurings but mostly silence as they awaited the inevitable.  I heard them share detail of his recent suffering and of the loss of their mother less than two weeks previously. This was a clear case of a broken hearted man, of late years, surrendering to death with dignity and courage. His passing, a few hours later, was a peaceful one and the family sat on in reverence to take their leave of him.

In close support, the medics had tended to the father over the previous week and switched from the role of preserving life to releasing it, as circumstances demanded. In the final hours hospital staff withdrew so that the family could gather to ease his passing. I have long believed that life’s important decisions are made with the heart rather than the head. In that hospital ward I felt this was institutionally formalised. The finest of high tech healthcare gave way to the loving support of immediate family at the time of this most important of transitions. Only some hours later did the hospital staff remove the body in preparation for their next arrival on the ward.

The hospital staff’s behaviour was exemplary in their care and compassion for a family thrust into change. In my case they acted professionally and speedily to protect me from disaster and a ‘life-changing event’. So, on the one hand they facilitated change and on the other they stopped it. Once again I’m reminded of the NHS’s strength in the treatment of acute illness and I’m very grateful for it. It’s only in their review of my situation that I hesitate to commend them.

Over the last four years I have brought about great improvements in my health through attention to nutrition and exercise. My learning has dispelled the previously unchallenged notion that the doctor is always right and that there is a pill for every ill. Today my attitudes toward healthcare are more In keeping with the coaching premise that the client explores the available options and retains responsibility for the outcomes. The doctors attending to me were able to provide the necessary assistance but were unable to assimilate information that conflicted with their drug centred paradigm of healthcare. Proactive nutritional intervention is not on their radar, nor were they curious as to how my situation might be addressed with a blend of natural and conventional approaches.

Perhaps I’m a little harsh. After all, I was admitted through the emergency room and their role is to deal quickly with whatever presents. In ER there is no time for procrastination or experimentation. Still, I remain hopeful that our treasured NHS, so skilled in judgement of when to bring change to others, will recognise the need to change itself and encourage participation from complementary medicine traditions with a view to true disease prevention. It is only through adaptation that the NHS can postpone a final vigil of its own.

Beginnings

At the beginning of the year we have a unique opportunity to review where we are and where we want to be. This is the stuff of New Year Resolutions – those musts and should that exert their influence over our behaviour during January and sometimes even February. Gymnasia across the land are very busy in the early weeks of the year but soon quieten down once annual subscriptions are paid and good intentions are stated. TV advertisements switch suddenly from the Christmas bombardment of perfume fragrances and party treats to low fat meals and diet plans. Christmas and New Year are seen as prime marketing opportunities rather than occasions for peaceful reflection and new beginnings.

So why do our initiatives so often fail? Is it that we seek to conform to other people’s expectations of us? Is it that we lack the confidence to see it through? Could it be that we are so deeply invested in our habits that change feels like losing our personality? Do we identify with our weakness? In such circumstances change, even for the better, is often blocked because we cannot face the ending of our dysfunction.

Nature shows us how to make good beginnings. There appears to be one universal rule for life forms on our planet - ‘Start small’. As spring arrives we will see shoots of growth from tiny seeds planted months before. Our greenhouses will provide optimum growing conditions for these developing plants until the early frosts have passed and they are strong enough to be planted out on their own. So too with the lifestyle changes that we know can improve our health. We need to start small and protect our progress.

On learning of a chronic blood pressure problem and discussing it with my doctor, she was very pleased for me to take the path of lifestyle management rather than pharmaceutical intervention but she cautioned against expecting rapid change. My medical records showed the problem had been some 14 years in the making so she felt it would be unrealistic to expect resolution in six months. She was right. In April 2009 it peaked at 174/110. In November 2012 it was measured at my local hospital at 117/77. As I look back over the last three years I recognise several misdirected efforts. No one thing proved the decisive issue but my entire relationship to food has changed, one small step at a time.

Recovering alcoholics stay dry one day at a time. Each day they make a new beginning. All of us can benefit from this approach. Certainly we can look forward to and even prepare for our future life, but consciously living each day well allows us to live in reality rather than fantasy.

So, in order to change your life, choose one small thing you can commit to each and every day that will help you toward becoming the person you want to be. Reflect regularly on your progress. Adapt and develop from what you learn, but never turn back. Seek out the support of others who have walked your path and in turn support those coming behind you. Our healthy days will become healthy years, with healthy relationships, healthy communities and ultimately we will build a healthy planet.

Claim your health one day at a time and enjoy the journey. Happy New Year!