Surrender

At year end I’m always caught up in a stream of emotions ranging from sadness to excitement. It’s as though I become aware of emotions that are always there but which reach a peak with the changing of the calendar year. Many years ago excitement was the main emotion. Changes typically included new additions to the family, new jobs and new homes. The turmoil was one of abundance like the exuberance of springtime. Now in midlife the family additions continue but through the next generation. My parent’s generation thins out and the winters feel colder. This year my father died which emphasised this passing of time and the inevitability of change. Also many years ago an uncle passed away at a young age from an aggressive cancer. I always thought him a giant of a man and looked up to him for everything he did. He’d been a teacher and a dedicated learner. He approached everything with curiosity and excitement so that his every day was an adventure in which he could share his broader understanding. Close to the end I visited him in hospital and was deeply shocked at how this disease had wracked his body. He was now very weak but, seeing my distress, he took my hand and told me “It’s all part of life”. This was the hardest lesson he ever gave me. He was a teacher to the end. Up to that point my earth had been flat. I was only aware of my personal horizons and the challenges of daily life. With my uncle’s death that changed. I was now awakened to life’s boundaries, to the slow and inevitable act of ageing and the importance of living each day to the full. To a young man that meant doing more, maximising achievements and growing materially. Action and acquisition was the order of the day, but it wouldn’t last. Later, the changes in my own life brought similarly profound shifts of perspective. Increasingly I can appreciate that we are human beings rather than human doings and that life’s treasures are constantly there to be enjoyed. We just need to take the time to tune in. It’s not that if I could turn back the clock I would do things differently. Equipped as I was with my childhood beliefs and expectations I would surely be as impulsive again in every aspect of living. As I see my own children manifest their dreams I feel only love and joy for them. In time they will have their own learning opportunities and their world will turn as did mine. For now we rejoice with them in their experiences. In their new skins they are storing new wines. Everything is as it should be. Today my interests are in optimising health so that each day can be appreciated fully. This is a mid-life perspective of course, and not dissimilar to the young man’s acquisition drive. In the end though, health is no more durable than wealth. All must be surrendered. The world is unlikely to stop spinning anytime soon. Dawn and dusk will continue as before. Our real challenge is to see beyond the personal and to live out our lives in service to the bigger picture. We must endeavour to weave our own lines while simultaneously appreciating the overall tapestry. Surrender is acceptance, not defeat.