Change or Die

This is the title of a very compelling book by Alan Deutschman that illustrates how deep change can occur, not just for individuals, but for whole communities by adopting a three Rs approach of Relate, Repeat and Reframe. Although disarmingly simple, and contrary to the standard Facts and Fear approach of Western medicine, the 3Rs system inspires people to take ownership of their situation and create their own futures. As a coach I love the client empowerment aspect, which is undoubtedly key to its success.

Some months ago I was pondering on the initiators of change and remembered reading one view “People change when the pain of change is less than the pain of not changing”. Although this seems quite negative, more often than not it’s true. A friend, commenting on the AA 12 steps programme, told me “The 12 steps don’t open the gates of heaven to let you in, they open the gates of hell to let you out”. In one form or another, pain ushers change and growth.

But Deutschman illustrates the difference between the methods that work and those that don’t. In the facts and fear approaches we are so overwhelmed at the scale of the task that we opt out of changing and fall back into our chronically uncomfortable comfort zones. When deep change does occur it is because of the empathy and mutual support that is borne of relationship, opportunities to embed alternative methods and the new perspectives we gain on our situation.

Deutschman shows how the 3Rs transformed the lives of those suffering from advanced heart disease, institutionalised criminals and belligerent, antagonistic workforces. In these extreme examples, people had typically exhausted all the ‘normal’ intervention methods to the point where it was felt there was nothing more that could be done. They were hopeless cases. In this regard they strongly resemble the terminal cancer cases that came to Max Gerson in a desperate hope for a cure. When conventional approaches have failed, and you’re finally prepared to consider an alternative, an empathetic ear builds trust. New disciplines deliver favourable results and a change of perspective brings new hope.

In describing the work of Professor Ornish of the University of California medical school among advanced heart disease patients, Deutschman draws attention to the support network that forms naturally between patients as they share their war stories and progress reports. Similarly a cornerstone of the AA 12 steps programme is the strength of fellowship that supports the fallen in their recovery. In industry generally self-directed work teams are redefining the methods of production and vastly improving output. For me the central themes are universal. By taking personal responsibility, sharing in the process of growth and practising new methods, great change and healing is possible.

So when facing your most intractable problems are you hurting enough to change? Who will walk your path with you? Where can you break step and rest? What new practices can you adopt? What new vistas of hope open up to you? How can you, in turn, help others to find their way?

Change and Live!

© Paul Curran, February 2012

Did God Play on the 7th Day?

According to the Genesis story in the Bible, God created the earth and man in six days and rested on the seventh. Actually, I think he partied. From the earliest times it has been recognised how vital it is for us to relax and recreate ourselves at regular intervals and not to endlessly toil as did Sisyphus. We need to take the time to review our progress, to simply enjoy being alive and to celebrate our successes. For me, a sunny day beckons me into the forest, to smell the pines and watch the water cascading over the rocks on its journey to the sea. There amidst the exuberance of nature I get to think big thoughts. 

I realise that every season has its beauty. The mood of the river changes from the ferocious torrent of early spring to the slowest of trickles in a long hot summer.  From its source to the sea the river is continuous. Every part is needed. Every part has its tasks, its energy, its secrets. It is one, whether in the mountains, the countryside or the town-land I know as home.

On days such as this the feeling of oneness pervades every aspect of my existence. While I’m dismayed at needless violence at an Egyptian football match, the slaughter of innocents in Syria, the lunacy of managing illness rather than preventing it or the obscenities of UK bankers bonus payments, for a few hours I’m completely at peace with it all. This allows me to focus purely on my contribution, on how I can make a difference in the lives of others and to feel gratitude for the experience.

There’s every probability that tomorrow’s news will be at least as bad as today’s. There’s also a strong probability that today’s fine weather will give way to the more seasonal wind and rain. Before long events in my personal life will once again preoccupy me; but for now all is well and it’s good to be alive. It’s especially good on a Friday night to share in the music making of an Irish seisiun. Yeats tells us -

“For the Good are always the merry, save by an evil chance. And the merry love the fiddle, and the merry love to dance.”

So for today it’s time to rejoice, to smile and sing, to feel united in journeying toward a purpose greater than my own.  It’s time to share a meal, to enjoy the best of good company and not to be stuck in the kitchen but rather to be dancing my unique steps at God’s own party.