Change or Die

This is the title of a very compelling book by Alan Deutschman that illustrates how deep change can occur, not just for individuals, but for whole communities by adopting a three Rs approach of Relate, Repeat and Reframe. Although disarmingly simple, and contrary to the standard Facts and Fear approach of Western medicine, the 3Rs system inspires people to take ownership of their situation and create their own futures. As a coach I love the client empowerment aspect, which is undoubtedly key to its success.

Some months ago I was pondering on the initiators of change and remembered reading one view “People change when the pain of change is less than the pain of not changing”. Although this seems quite negative, more often than not it’s true. A friend, commenting on the AA 12 steps programme, told me “The 12 steps don’t open the gates of heaven to let you in, they open the gates of hell to let you out”. In one form or another, pain ushers change and growth.

But Deutschman illustrates the difference between the methods that work and those that don’t. In the facts and fear approaches we are so overwhelmed at the scale of the task that we opt out of changing and fall back into our chronically uncomfortable comfort zones. When deep change does occur it is because of the empathy and mutual support that is borne of relationship, opportunities to embed alternative methods and the new perspectives we gain on our situation.

Deutschman shows how the 3Rs transformed the lives of those suffering from advanced heart disease, institutionalised criminals and belligerent, antagonistic workforces. In these extreme examples, people had typically exhausted all the ‘normal’ intervention methods to the point where it was felt there was nothing more that could be done. They were hopeless cases. In this regard they strongly resemble the terminal cancer cases that came to Max Gerson in a desperate hope for a cure. When conventional approaches have failed, and you’re finally prepared to consider an alternative, an empathetic ear builds trust. New disciplines deliver favourable results and a change of perspective brings new hope.

In describing the work of Professor Ornish of the University of California medical school among advanced heart disease patients, Deutschman draws attention to the support network that forms naturally between patients as they share their war stories and progress reports. Similarly a cornerstone of the AA 12 steps programme is the strength of fellowship that supports the fallen in their recovery. In industry generally self-directed work teams are redefining the methods of production and vastly improving output. For me the central themes are universal. By taking personal responsibility, sharing in the process of growth and practising new methods, great change and healing is possible.

So when facing your most intractable problems are you hurting enough to change? Who will walk your path with you? Where can you break step and rest? What new practices can you adopt? What new vistas of hope open up to you? How can you, in turn, help others to find their way?

Change and Live!

© Paul Curran, February 2012